I always knew that at some point I wanted to write this blog post but would always find myself avoiding it — I’m sure there are deeper psychological reasons as to why that is the case but those are for me to discover at a different point with my therapist.
If you came here from my instagram page, you would know how our daughter was born 15 weeks prematurely last September and she spent 3 months in the NICU before we finally got to bring her home.
Those days were some if not – the most challenging days that I have ever experienced in my life and I am so grateful to God and all the medical staff that saved our daughter’s life. During this journey, I also realized how amazing of a village we have and my heart will always be thankful for our family & friends who surrounded us with so much love, not just in words but in actions as well.
I know that the NICU is an unknown and delicate world to a lot of people so I wanted to create a list of things that really helped us during that time so that if you know anyone in your life who has a baby in the NICU you can get an idea of how to help.
1. Check In
If you are unsure how much you can help, checking in is always a great place to start. I am so grateful for all the friends and our families that checked in on my husband and I cause it allowed us to be able to reflect where we were and not feel like we were going through this alone. I was grateful that Foothills Medical Centre’s NICU had a certified psychologist on staff because I don’t know if I would’ve processed all that we went through healthily if it wasn’t for her. It was nice to be able to chat about life on the outside because being in the NICU, it can easily consume you and become your world, something that I would not advice.
2. Meals
When news broke out that our daughter was born prematurely, we had meals lined up for weeks delivered to us and those who couldn’t make meals, sent us gift cards to services like SkipTheDishes, UBEReats, and etc. The first 3 weeks, we didn’t have to worry about making meals after gruelling rounds and very uncertain/traumatizing days. All we did was come home, decompress — I was recovering from a c-section- so a lot fell on my husband’s plate those first 2 weeks, and prepare to face another day. Not having to worry about making dinner was great for our mental state.
3. Therapy
I know I talked about this briefly before but I don’t think I can recommend therapy enough with processing everything. It gave me a space to cry, vent my frustrations, talk about my worries, understand why I was feeling certain ways so that when we got to bring her home — I didn’t bring that PTSD with me. It also allowed me to not dump all of the aforementioned things on my husband who was dealing with it as well.
Life As Whits 